For Better

Balancing Act

Since my divorce, I have accomplished the following:

1. Took the car to the mechanic for repairs.
2. Made purchases of large items without having to check with someone first (new bed, couch, car)
3. Planned and went on trips.
4. Gone hiking on my own
5. Restored my credit (from abysmal to 760 or so)
6. Did my taxes
7. Not felt compelled to apologize nearly as often
8. Rode alone in a taxi, Uber or Lyft (still makes me nervous)
9. Learned to dance (thanks, Kevin!)
10. Underwent surgery without having someone to pick me up from the medical center.
11. Drove myself to emergency room.
12. Learned to ask friends for help (see 10 and 11). When I was married, if my husband wouldn’t help with something, I just figured no help would be available and didn’t ask anyone else.
13. Made my own schedule.
14. Established clear boundaries about what behavior and demands I’ll deal with / respond to.
15. Pruned the list of people who are allowed to intrude on my time, space and feelings.
16. Rarely felt the need to make excuses for another person. Sometimes, my kids act out, but not nearly as often.
17. Attempted to make friends with males (didn’t have any during my marriage) without allowing the relationship to be anything more than that.
18. Dated.
19. Experienced a bit of night life with my friends
20. Bought and eaten Goldfish crackers — my ex wasn’t around to tell me they’d make me fat
21. Kept running, even though my ex used to laugh at how slow I was and said how I was doing it wasn’t “real” exercise – despite the fact that my lungs and heart clearly were working better and more efficiently.

Divorce isn’t all bad. It can be a catalyst for positive change.

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